Omar Frazier's blog

Just A Thought

I am so tired of my back injury. The pain is unbearable. How many times do I need to visit the hospital for them to tell me the same thing? Its hard on me mentally. It is driving me crazy. I am never relaxed. People tell me that I need to get some rest, but how can anyone rest when its hard to sleep. My disc and pelvis area pops, throbs and feels tight constantly. All night I toss and turn. Usually, every night, I only get about 3-5 hours of sleep...if that. All the doctors do is prescribe meds. When I take the meds it makes me feel weird. Dizzy, uncomfortable, irritated, unhappy. Since my injury, I stopped working as hard as before. Even the simple task of walking hurts. But, when you lost your car because your no longer working, all you can do is walk. Walking allows me time to think. Yeah, I have family with cars, I just dont want to bother them. When I finish my walk, I am in extreme pain. Walking with a cane slows me down, and I hate the attention that I get. Friends and some family have told me that I should try Yoga. Yoga is not free. Therapy wasn't and isn't free either. Its a depressing thing. All I want to do is sleep. Or just stay in bed all day and night. My hospital bills are so high! My lawyers call me everyday trying to get me to settle. I think all they are thinking about is themselves. They want their money. Shit I do too. Most of all I want my back to feel better.

How To be an Effective Owner/Manager

I have worked at a few different places in different industries since I started working at the age of 16 years old. From Restuarants to Wholesale Groceries Stores to being a Marketer for clothing lines. Of all my past experiences, the Restuarant industy has been the craziest in dealing with Owners/Managers. It is a hectic industry to start or to be involved with I must admit. But, it is a lot harder when dealing with an Owner/Manager who can be anal every day.

So, what do I think makes an Owner/Manager anal? One who doesn't know how to communicate with their staff effectively. Like at the place I work at now. Wow. It is hard not to walk out some days. I am suprised that he still has employees still working for him or that the restuarant is still open. Not a day goes by that the Staff or a Staff member isn't getting yelled at, or fired. The turn over rate is rediculous. Since working there this past month, I have seen new people who get hired on a daily basis. This is bad when, the restuarant here in South Beach has only been open less than 12 months. But, I guess due to the economic times we are in, everyone is looking for a job. This past Saturday, a women was fired for not putting Onion Marmalade in our sandwiches. When she tried to explain that there were none to put into the sandwiches, the Owner did not want to hear it. I felt so bad for the older lady. Maybe they already wanted to fire her. Yesterday, the chef was yelled at for putting too much salad in a salad dish. There is always something going on at the restuarant.

What could change? What could change is, the respect from the top tier to the bottom tier. Less yelling and more communicating. No one wants to work for a place that they are always walking on egg shells. People work better if there is less yelling. It always makes me upset to hear Owners/Managers yell or curse when things are bad, but never give compliments when things are good.

Just to let you know. It is not all the managers of restuarants or businesses who work this way. Usually its the Owners. They are tease at all times. Who knows how their financial matters are. Are they on drugs??? The Owners, like to critisize but not compliment. This can be a BIG problem. As soon as we see the Owner, we quiet down, and get nervous. We think to ourselves, what is about to happen? Working in these conditions or under these conditions is not healthy.

Do you have issues at your job???

TIme To Get It Together

 It is about time that we all must get ourselves together. So what it the problem and why must we get ourselves together? Well, a lot of us are not true to who we are. By this I am saying, we are acting rich, while being poor. Or like my friend Dale Berry says, "in-between blessings." A lot of people are out every night, whether partying or having a drink, having a cup every day at Starbucks, or taking a taxi when they can walk. Just living beyond their means. In these economic times we need to save and live below our means in order to have in the future. We have this misconceptions on how "Rich" people live. So we buy expensive wine, food, clothes, cars, etc. But, if we take  closer look at the whole picture, we will see that "Rich" people do not live like that. I personally have seen "Rich" people with the same shoes for years, drive Hondas, Toyotas (Maybe not now, with the brake peoblem they are having), Acuras, or even, some that I have seen only ride bikes. People in these times want to be like someone that they are nowhere like.

 So should we just stay home, and not buy anything at all? NO. What I am saying is that, we must monitor what we do buy and where we go. It has always been funny to me to see these girls/guys with the latest fashion, nice cars, etc., but they have a hard time paying for that car, paying their rent, and/or do not have a job. The reason that people are like this is because they are not happy with themselves. Now, if you can do it that way, and can still survive, then by all means do you. This is not for you.This is for the ones that wish they were where you are, and are pretending to be.

Real Life Experiences (Part One)

We were lost. Trying to find our way, we left the West Coast. Me, Paco, Baldy,Tim and Old Man.  All five of us were on the highway to Kansas. We were young. Ambitious. Best of all, we all had a skill, and we knew how to put it together to work for the better cause. The better cause being, rich with money. Or so we thought.

Paco was the enforcer. He loved to fight. He could be wild at times. One time we were in Las Vegas and Paco beat up the Promoter real bad for not letting us in the club. That was a wild night! The homie Baldy was just down for the cause. He still needed to grow up. He relied on his father for everything. Tim did not know what he wanted to be or do. But, he was in college. He was just going to transfer to the local Junior College where we were going to live. Old Man, that is my cousin. We did not start to hang out until after high school. That's when I first met him. His mom and my mom are cousins, and really couldn't stand each other. We met at our aunts' birthday party. We had a lot in common. Old Man moved to Kansas two years prior from us going on this trip. We call him Old Man because he, is the youngest of us five, but "acts" like he is the oldest. He has a good job. He works as a bus driver for the city that he lives in. He has an apartment there too, so we are moving in with him. My name, well thats not that important right now. But, I will tell you my skill. I'm the one with the "Gift to Grap them!" Or the gift to gab. I was the one who could walk in the room all by myself and get all the attention. I can work the crowd. "Stop all that day-dreaming shit. Writing in journals is gay blood!" said Paco. "Plus, your driving next, so get some rest."

Paco did not understand, I could not sleep. And with Tims' snoring, how could I.  So I just kept writing. I love road trips. The different people that you meet on the road. Like the Indian lady in New Mexico that tried to offer me her daughter. Her daughter was about 17 years old. I am 19 years old. Later that night we stopped at a Truck Stop off highway 40 to get gas and some blunts. The lady at the counter said she did not know what blunts were. "Our damn luck" said Tim. Tim loved to smoke weed. Maybe a little too much. One time we went to Hanford to visit some of my family, and he got so high that night with one of my cousins. My cousin and Tim clicked immediately. They went to hang with some girls that night and Tim left his phone in my car, and I did not find him until 2 days later. Now that we look back at what happened, we laugh.  "Fuck it, I have one more rolled" I said. Off into the night we went.

It was my turn to drive. "We have been making good progress," I thought to myself. Just a few more hours to go and we should be in Texas. It started raining and the roads started to be less visible. I was straining my eyes to see even ten feet ahead of me. So I slowed down a lot. A cop followed us for a few miles, I woke up the boys and told them. Tim like aways, reacted too fast and looked towards the back of the truck we were driving. The red and blues lights and the loud sound of the police siren come on. I pulled over. We looked around and noticed that we were the only car on the highway. "Where you niggers going?" said the officer. We must have thought the same thing, because no one said a word. I just handed the officer my licence and the insurance papers. The officer asked me, "What was that for." The officer said that he wanted us to get out of the car.

We got out with fear on our faces. I told everyone that I will handlle this. "Officer, what is this all about?" I said. "You being in my town," he said. He did not ask for our consent, but he searched our car anyways. We knew how to hide what we had so he did not find anything. I told the officer we were going to college and thats why we were passing by. He checked our Ids, then let us go. "You niggers better get out of here. We don't like your kind here." The tall, white, and country officer said. I told everyone to get in the car. As we got in, he honked a us, as if telling us we were not moving fast enough.

For about an hour, no one in the car said a word. Baldy said the first word. "I wanted to knock that cracker out." he said. But, Paco barked back. "You wasn't going to do shit!" Old Man told us them come down. I still had that rolled blunt, so I lit it up.

Finally we arrived in Oklahoma. It was mid day and the sun was out. It had to be about 90 degrees and the humidity was high. We all had our shirt off and we were sweating. I called an older friend Omar and told him what had happen the night before. He said that he could not imagine what we went through.

Part two coming soon...

 

 

Cheating...Why not tell her/him what is really on your mind???

 What people are lacking in their relationship now-a-days is communication. That is one main reason that people are cheating now more than ever. We as humans are afraid to show the opposite sex our feelings, and we fail to let them know what is on our minds and heart. We have become afraid to express ourselves, or to tell our mate what is bothering us because, we males, most of us anyways, are afraid of opening ourselves up, and being considered too "Emotional." Or, we as men become ignorant to our womans feelings. We ignore the signs. The signs that something is bothering them. We stopped asking questions. We just come to the assumptions that we know what is wrong. If we did know, why aren't we fixing the cause or the root of the problems? Another misconception is that, we as men cheat because of wanting to keep up with our friends and to have some sort of status, which isn't really so. Have I cheated on a mate before. YES. Why? One reason was that I did not want to lose the person that I was with. Another, because the "other girl" was fine as hell. But, I must admit, that I was younger than I am now, and I really did not care about the opposite sexs' feelings. How did it feel? Well, at the time, it felt like an adrenaline rush. Being able to sneak off at night and not getting caught. It became my drug of choice. It was fun. The other girl knew that I had a girl, but she did not mind. What made me change? Growing up! Cheating doesn't only hurt the one who was cheated on, but it affects the one who cheated too. Why because it can be draining. So, why dont we just be adult about the situation and communicate what we want in the relationship. Then, we will not have to make assumptions and we can make things right.

Are you where you need to be?

In life, most of us are taking our skills that God has given us for granted. Have you ever just sat still and listened to Gods' instuctions? Have you asked God what does HE want you to do and where does HE want you to be? Most of us have. Our problem is, that we don't listen, we do what WE want to do, and not what HE tells us to do. The skills are there, but we are not using them. How many of you wish that your life was different? How many of you wish that you had a different job and/or career? Well, I know that I do. I know that there are so many things that I can do and that I am good at. God did not intend for all of us to work for others. He gave us entreprenuerial skills. I am a peoples person, I have great communicational skills, and I value hard work. But, where have I worked? I have been a waiter at various restuarants, I am currently a food prep at 8oz burget bar, and I worked as a customer service representative. The career that I want to pursue is in the field of Marketing. I have done a little work in that field. I just need to do more work in that field. I was told that I need to get back in church because that is where I belong. There have been various Pastors that have told me that one day I will be a Pastor or in Ministry. I love helping but the Church as a whole confuses me. There are so many hypocrites in the church system, but that is another post...lol. I will leave you with this...in life we all have choices. That is the great thing about America. So, if you are not where you need to be...what can or will you do to be where you need to be????

Knowlege is Power!

"Albert Einstein once said that imagination is more important than knowledge. But still knowledge can be useful too." (Marketing for Dummies 3rd addtion, p.68 Alexander Hiam)

Having an imagination is very important. Without an imagination it can be similar to not being able to dream or to not having goals in life. An imagination without knowledge is not a negative. What people like myself have learned to do with our imaginations that we have stored up in our brains, is sell them to those that do not have an imagination. Now that is having knowledge!!!

But knowledge is a great acquirement to have. In this life, it can take you very far. Employers often pay extra money for an employee that has enough and suffient knowledge/information on a specific subject. What knowledge do you have stored in your brain that you can imagine selling? 

"Knowledge is Power!"  Imagine that! Today in America it has been easier than in the past to attain knowledge. The knowledge that is available for free, we as Americans fail to use. Imagine being able to go to the library for free, go to school for free, or log on to the web...for free. Well, all three of these sources plus many others are there for us to use for free. Even in this, the worst economy ever, we rather pay for things that we can get for free. Ie... Water. Knowledge. Parks. Etc.

One of the things that bothers me, are the amount of students in class rooms that do not take advantage of their situation. At, a school that I attended, El Camino College, in Torrance, Ca, some teachers and students voiced there opinons about how many students are disruptive in their class rooms. Many would contest that the majority of the students were the minorities that were the problems in the school systems. But, getting a closer look at things, it is different races that are the problem, not just minorities in the school system 

I can imagine ,seeing the financial problems in California, that to gain knowledge, tuition is going to rise in the future. Not only in California, but everywhere. This may happen faster than we think. Students are taking too much time and space in class rooms. People who want the knowledge that is being offered are going to have to pay higher prices to recieve the degree that they want. The government thinks by doing so, it will eliminate the "slackers" from their class rooms. During any recession, look at all the innovators who imagined and are now succeeding. "Knowledge is Power." Can you imagine attaining a piece of that knowledge?

THE KEY

  THE KEY TO MY HEART IS NOT YOUR BEAUTY. THE KEY TO MY HEART IS NOT YOUR BOOTY. THE KEY TO MY HEART MAY NOT SEEM PLAIN. THE KEY TO MY HEART, MAY BRING YOU PAIN. THE KEY TO MY HEART MAY NOT ALWAYS WORK. GETTING THE KEY TO MY HEART MAY SEEM LIKE HARD WORK. I THINK I THINK, THERFORE I AM. I NEED A WOMAN WHO UNDERSTANDS THIS MAN AND ALL THAT HE HAS PLANNED. I NEED NOT A WOMAN WHO HAS THE KEY, TO ASK, IF SHE IS THE ONE WITH THE KEY.THE KEY HAS NO COPIES, THERE IS ONLY BUT ONE KEY. BUT HAVING THE KEY ALONE, WILL NOT GET YOU ME. THE KEY ONLY MEANS THAT YOU HAVE GOTTEN CLOSER TO ME. MY HEART FROM ALL THE PAIN, HAS RIDGES LIKE A KEY. ONE OF THE THINGS THAT I NEED, IS THE WOMAN WITH THE KEY, TO UNDERSTAND ME. GETTING THE KEY WON'T BE SIMPLE AT FIRST. THE APPLICATION PROCESS MAY SEEM HARD AND LONG. BUT WITH PATINCE, HARD WORK, AND THIS KEY, THIS HEART CAN BE YOUR HOME. NOW THAT YOU HAVE THIS KEY, TO THIS HEART, AND NOW YOU ARE MY QUEEN, WHAT WOULD IT TAKE TO HAVE YOUR KEY TO YOUR THRONE MY BEAUTIFUL QUEEN?

NOT BEING THERE, BUT BEING THERE....

  Having a child at the age of 16 years old has its good and its bad. Good, because we can be like friends. We can play video games. We can relate to things that are going on, because of the closeness of our age. But, it can be bad because having a child at the age of 16 years old, means that you have to grow up fast. And worse, if the mother of your child and you are no longer together. That right there alone is BAD!

  My son Alec is 11 years old now, and dude is huge, so smart, and is in the age that he wants to know why. Why his mom and I are no longer together? Why does he have another dad? Why was I not "always" there when he was growing up? Why does he have a different last name than I do? These types of questions, I never thought in a million years, I would have to answer. My mom, sister, and father never thought me to have a child out of wedlock, or to not use a condom. But, somewhere down the line, I must have forgot what I was thought!

  On December 26, 2009 something changed in the mother of my childs heart, because when I moved here to Miami, she allowed, thank God, my dad to bring Alec here to have his winter break with his "other" family. It is a blessing! This was the first time that we have gotten this close, without his mother around. And, it is so much fun having him around. Even if he is driving me crazy on some occations. LOL. No, but I love him. Just looking at him brings me so much joy. These are the times that he and I will always remember.

  Being a father/dad is not a part time job, it's a full time job. But, what is the difference between the two? If I would have to guess, one is there all the time no matter what, and the other is just a sperm donor. This parenting job is not easy. I give it up to all single mothers and single fathers. Alec and I have gotten close these few weeks that he has been here in Miami, and I pray that it can continue this way for times to come. I love to hear him call me dad, how he says that he wants to sleep with me, and the times that I have gotten to cook for him. Hearing him say, "Dad that breakfast was good, where did you learn how to cook?" brings joy to my heart. Getting the chance to take him to Disney World, and seeing how happy he was just to go and spend that time alone with me, was joyful as well. I love watching cartoons with him and hearing him laugh. Playing chess with him is cool. At eleven I did not know how to play chess, and he is good!!! (He hasn't beaten me yet, but we tied.)

  But, with all that good, and joyfulness, there is still the bad. "Not being there, but being there." What do you mean you might ask? Well, I was not "always" there for Alec. By that I mean that, I visited him, talked on the phone with him, and he knew who I was, but I was not there by his side. I was not there to take him to school, to see his first step, hear his first word, etc. I am a good person, so I am not going to say that all of that was my fault. There were plenty of times that I wanted to see him, but his mother would not let me see him. There was a time when she ignored my calls for about a year. She did not give him my last name just to get back at me for not being there when my son was born. I was 16 years old!, and we met in Arizona. My dad was not liking the fact that I was having a baby and sent me off back to my mother and step father in California. My dad did not talk to me for nearly 2 years. It was a rough time for me. I did not know anyone else in Arizona where I could stay so that I could visit my Cookie. So Erin blamed me for all the times I was not there. Erin even met someone else when I moved, who she is now married to. There were plently of times that she would compare me to him, and how he did this or said he would have done that, just to make himself look good, and me look bad! I hate that another man got to see all that I wanted to be there to see. The "new" guy and I do not get along. He talks bad about me to my son which pisses me off. Like, why would you tell a child that you don't like his father? Expecially all the times that I thanked the prick for doing what he was doing. Not one time did I or have I talked bad about him. But, F'him now. The things that he said made me look bad, when I am not a bad person like that. But, my son has seen that I am not bad like he has been fed to believe from his step dad J.R., and maybe his mother at times. My son is at that age that he knows what is going on and he tells me things that are like, WOW. Like for one, he said that his mom and step dad want to change his name to the step dads last name. That irritates the shit out of me. As if having her maiden name right now is not bad enough.

  My last words and my conclusion is a messege to all the guys out there. "Not Being There, But Being There," is not enough when it comes to our children. We need to be there if we took the time to have them. Even if it was not planned. It is not there fault, and they did not ask to be brought into this world. God always has a plan. Like, my son being in this world, has kept my dad younger and feeling alive. So when it comes to our children we need to be a father like Christ is to us. Being there at all times, no matter what!!!!!!!!!

Random thought....South Beach or Los Angeles?

 I don't know. Maybe it is just me. But, I have heard lots of negative things that people have to say about California while staying here in Miami. Like, people think too highly of themselves, we are gangsters, we are up to NO good. Blah blah blah! But, the three weeks that I have been here in South Beach, I have learned a lot. What do I prefer? South Beach or Los Angeles? Los Angeles for sure! No disrespect to South Beach, but there are some stuck up people here. The drivers here...Man! They cannot drive at all! I was going to get real Cali on this dude, and I had to check myself. He got real lucky...When you say hello to someone here, most Miamians, they just keep walking.... And, why is it that, it seems that everyone, almost everyone, in South Beach is on COKE! Damn, it is bad. Miami overwhelmes me. Like, it is nice here; the scenery, the clubs, the restuarants, and the few cool people that I met. But, other than that, what is all the hype about South Beach? Maybe, this place still needs to grow on me.

 There are a few things that I like about South Beach. LOL. It can be a motivation. The nice condos, the nice fast cars that I see on a daily basis living on West ave., and the few people I have met that are cool. Did I mention that the clubs don't close until 5am and that they dont stop serving alcohol until 5am too? WOW. Not in Cali! I don't know if Cali is ready to keep things open until 5am. I am just saying, this place, Miami, is a whole 'nutha dimension. A lot to take in.

 Went out with my sister tonight. It was fun. Had a great convo with some people at the bar. I need to get on the ball man. Everyone is doing something here. Makes me feel like I am lagging. But, like my sister said, "Dont let that depression set in, because if you do, it won't let you progress." I am here to progress. School starts soon and I am actually ready. Tired of telling folks that I am a student in the Marketing field. Ready to tell them, that I own my own company. "NU Dimension."

This is my first blog, only because this has been on my mind for some days now. The next blog might be more informative. But, I am always having random thoughts, and this was one of them. It is not to offend anyone. Just my random thoughts about South Beach vs Los Angeles.!!!